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Siblings by Heart
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​Even out of unspeakable grief,
                 beautiful things take wing . . . 
                                                                                         - A.R. Torres

Mommy, half of me is gone . . . 
- Deanna, age 3 1/2
Six words from my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter are the reason I am here. "Mommy, half of me is gone."

​When my son—her beloved big brother, best friend and only sibling—died of cancer, the loss was devastating. It broke our hearts and left an unfillable void in her young being.

I was teaching early childhood parenting classes at that time. My heart's desire was—and is—to make good things happen for children and the parents who love them. 
​Yet with all my resources, I found little to help me navigate our unthinkable new reality. 
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I don't want it to be the same for you

No one could tell me how I was supposed to parent my daughter without her brother. 

​I knew then that I had to do something—not
just for my precious daughter, but for children
like her and parents like me who are heartbroken after the death of a child. 

​You've suffered "the worst loss" imaginable. And when your child leaves a grieving sibling, your heart ​is twice broken. I felt my daughter's loss even more deeply than my own.
​


Parenting the sibling by heart 

The task of parenting a child without her sibling—a "sibling by heart"—is uncharted territory that thankfully most parents will never walk. For those of us who do, it's a lonely and isolated place. I'm here to step into this space with you. ​

Childhood sibling loss has deep ramifications that few people recognize; it impacts the most basic of day-to-day interactions. My daughter spoke it so well one day ​on the playground when she said to me, "No one can know the pain that we feel."

My daughter's loss would never ever be okay. Yet I couldn’t change it. I simply had to make the best lemonade that I possibly could. I had to figure out how to do the rest of our lives—how to help her cope with her loss, shine light into the void, and remake a meaning-full life around her altered identity as a
sibling by heart.
When we cross the street, we need to
​hold hands.
When we're walking on the sidewalk, we don't have to
hold hands; we hold hands ​

just to love each other.
​
- David, age 4,
​to his little sister

My hope and my help for you

Parenting my sibling by heart to adulthood was my mission for 16 years. ​Today I better understand what I needed as a bereaved parent of a young child, what would have been helpful for me and for her, what may be helpful for you and your child.

I know that very real possibilities for something good exist even in heartbreak, even in the devastating. My mission is to give grieving families this hope and help parents claim the wisdom and gifts within themselves to choose a better possibility—for themselves and for their children. 


More than any particular thing anyone could have told me, I learned that it's about trusting your heart.

My
Good Grief Parenting approach guides families beyond mourning to experience whole, joy-full lives day by day. Good Grief Beliefs provide the foundation for healthy coping life skills, and Essential Messages build resilience and strengthen the parent-child bond.

As a family educator, certified Grief Recovery Specialist, and parent coach, my goal is to equip parents with the tools to discover their own heart-led wisdom. Your heart knows what is true, right and lasting for your family. I will be your discovery partner, not a therapist or a grief counselor. ​​

You and your child can get beyond the pain. Your lives can be good, and you can even feel joy. Let me give you the essential tools to discover and claim that. 
​
Discover essential parenting tools!

Michele Benyo

When a dream is stolen, the heart keeps an ember that cannot be extinguished. That ember can be stirred to flame, rekindling joy and realizing new possibilities.
You turned my mourning to dancing
and my sorrow to joy . . .
Psalm 30:11

CONTACT MICHELE

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  • Home
    • About Me
  • Work With Me
  • Good Grief
  • Grief Recovery
  • Contact Michele
  • New Page
  • Get the Good Grief Guide